Me: (being polite)“Happy Valentine’s Day.”
Her: (being grumpy) “You mean Singles Awareness Day Eve.”
Me: “Funny, did you come up with that on the spot?”
Her: “No, I read about it online, but the point still stands. Valentine’s Day is a sham.”
Me: “Because you’re single?”
Her: (getting defensive) “No, it’s not that. I hated it just as much last year when I was dating.”
Me: “Why?”
Her: “It’s a stupid marketing scam that tricks women into forcing men to ‘proof’ their love for them by buying cards with cliché sayings, chocolate that will be gone by the end of the day, and flowers that will be dead by the end of the week. I didn’t like it then, and I don’t like it now.”
Me: “Now, when you’re single, you mean?”
Her: “I told you it has nothing to do with that.”
Me: “Did you still accept the gifts back when you weren’t single?”
Her: “I didn’t have a choice. And it’s not the gesture that bothers me, it’s the fact that its so forced; so contrived. You know?”
Me: “Well, I don’t know my feelings about all of that, but you have a point about the flowers being dead in week thing. Which is why some time back I opted to give someone a large bouquet of roses, all made out of plastic. Symbolizing how our love will transcend the mortal limitations of life itself, and be everlasting. Explained all of that on the card and everything, too.”
Her: “Nice. Did she like it?”
Me: “I’m standing here celebrating Singles Awareness Day Eve with you, aren’t I? That should give you your answer.”
Final Verdict: Don’t bothering arguing the meaning of it all and just buy your partner the stupid cards, chocolates, and flowers, and then get yourself laid. Happy Valentine’s/Singles Awareness Day.
KRONSTADT REVOLT 